An Exercise for Two
Priorities, uncovered
Planning a wedding involves a thousand decisions, and most of them feel urgent at 11pm on a Tuesday. This exercise helps you and your partner land on what truly matters — so every decision after it gets easier.
Do it on your own first
Each of you takes the exercise solo. Be honest — this works best when you're answering for yourself, not what you think your partner wants to hear.
Hand the device across
When Partner 1 is done, we'll prompt you to pass it over. Partner 2 answers everything fresh, without seeing the first set of answers.
Review together
You'll see your answers side by side — where you align, where you differ, and a few suggested middle grounds. Your shared priorities become your planning compass.
First things first — what are your names?
Takes around 10–15 minutes each. Best done over a glass of wine.
Let's start with you,
there.
Six quick activities. Go with your gut — there are no wrong answers, just honest ones. Your partner won't see what you pick until you're both done.
The High-Level Overview
Rank what matters most
Drag the cards to reorder them from most important (top) to least (bottom). On mobile, use the arrows on the right.
Setting the Scene
Which venue styles feel right?
Pick any that speak to you — one, two, five, all six. No wrong answer here.
Getting Specific
Your top six priorities
Of everything on a wedding day, which six do you care about most?
Narrowing it Down
Now your top three
Of the six you just chose, which three matter most? Use the arrows to slot them in — the top three become your non-negotiables.
Gut Reactions
This, or that?
Trust your first instinct. If you honestly don't mind, tap either way in the middle.
The Feeling
How do you want this day to feel?
Take a breath. These ones are worth sitting with.
How do you want to feel on your big day?
e.g. relaxed, connected, present, energised…
What's the one moment you don't want to miss?
e.g. private vows, your grand entrance, the first look, a quiet meal together
If guests described your wedding in three words…
e.g. intimate, joyful, unexpected, cinematic
What's one thing that would make the day feel "so you" as a couple?
e.g. including the dogs, a nod to your favourite show, signature cocktails named after you
All yours, Partner 1 — well done
You're halfway there. Hand the device over — your partner takes it from here, fresh, without seeing what you chose.
Where You Both Stand
Your shared vision
Here's where you line up, where you lean differently, and a few gentle compromises to consider together.
The big picture
Ranked from most to least important.
Venue vibe
Top three priorities
The things you each said matter most.
Where you differ
The quick choices you didn't agree on — with a suggested middle ground for each.
How the day should feel
Your emotional priorities, side by side.
Your Compass
Our shared priorities
Edit the lists below to lock in what you both agree on. Then save, print, or share — this is the guide you'll come back to every time you're stuck on a decision.
Need to Have
the non-negotiablesNice to Have
important, but flexible on budgetHow We Want It to Feel
the emotional north starOur This-or-That
where you align, where you differNotes
anything else to remembera love note from Kate
Your priorities may evolve as planning goes on — that's normal. Come back to this any time you need to zoom out.
If you'd like a hand turning it into a real plan, I'd love to chat.
